And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
