yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Houston, we have a squirter
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
