yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
