I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
