he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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