Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
