your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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