I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
