walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
they need to just BURY HIM!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
