the condom got lost in my hair
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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