my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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