when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
