Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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