my sisters under your porch take her home
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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