with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
