Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
