i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
