i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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