We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
