I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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