he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
