belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she told me i tasted like america
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
