What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
