I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
