he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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