Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
