I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
