I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
