i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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