Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My vagina just recognized that song.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
