my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
