I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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