I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
