If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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