Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
