"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
there is puke in my bra ... again
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
