But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
