I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
