And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
