YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
