It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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