Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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