Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
