i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
