I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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