I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
