remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
