Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
