Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
