it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
