last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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