shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
