i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
